Another linkup because I need motivation desperately

I feel like I'm getting back into my fat-fattie ways. For real. Last night I didn't feel like cooking and we have a house guest, and my suggestion was PIZZA. Pizza? Really? Pizza.

Disgusting. But sooooooo goooooooooooood. And breadsticks. And que papas (if you don't know what they are, don't order them because you'll become an addict like me). It's a miracle I didn't throw in a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper too. But that does sound quite tasty.

See? It's happening!

I need self-control now more than ever. I tried to wear flats to work today (I've been getting away with wearing flippy-floppies because my manager's cool like that) and it hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. There's no way I'm going to be able to do any kind of real cardio--unless anyone has any suggestions? I know there's rowing machines at the gym but I have no idea how to use them....so enlighten me if you do!

Anyway. Onto the linkup with KTJ for the 5k Spring Training Challenge. No cardio doesn't mean I can't be healthy and still work toward getting fit. I just haven't quite convinced myself of that. Yesterday I posted my goals for this week, and one of them was to do toning exercises every day at home. Obviously yesterday I failed. But this morning I scoured my Pinterest in search of some good workouts and I think I found some I can do:



Love handles are my problem area, I've decided.

KTJ also asked what motivates us. While looking at my fitness board on pinterest I found one of my favorrriiitttteeee Jillian Michaels pins of all time:



EVERYTHINNNNGGGG!!!! Ahahaha I die.

Anyway, Jillian Michaels really does inspire me. I can't wait to get down to my short-term goal of 170 lbs and start the 30-day Shred. Somethings tells me I couldn't quite handle her at this point in my journey lol. 
I also found this pin which realy spoke to me...given the situation lol.

Nothing crazy-wise or deep going on there, but it reminded me that this could be a really awesome opportunity to, like I said earlier, teach myself to have SELF-CONTROL, of which I have none. And discipline.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about how I've never really had to push myself in life. Don't get me wrong, I've always been a goal-setting person and I usually achieve the goals I do set for myself--like graduating college in 4 years, graduating with honors, being the VP of my sorority, etc etc. However, in order to achieve those goals I never reaalllllly had to push myself. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was that kid you loved to hate because I could get b's and a's without really trying. If I DID actually try, I probably could have graduated Magna or Suma Cum Laude instead of just plain old Cum Laude (Btw, I barely squeezed by with exactly a 3.25 final GPA). Not once did I EVER sacrifice fun for studying or homework in college. Never once. If I wanted to go out to a party or hang out with friends, I did. I knew just how much effort I needed to put into school to get acceptable grades and I never did anything more than that. And I think that also has to do with why I never succeeded in anything athletic in my life. I thought about trying a few sports throughout my life, but never felt like I was ever going to be good enough. If I knew I wasn't going to be good at something without trying, I wouldn't go for it.

I don't know if any of that makes sense and now I see I just went off on a major tangeant so I'm sorry if you read all that haha. And if you didn't, I understand.

So I guess the moral of the story is...I don't have self-control because I've never disciplined myself enough to have any...because I've never been in a situation where I had to have any. Even with my whole weight struggle, if you read my first post ever (which you totally should if you haven't), you'll remember how I said I haven't been completely unhappy with my weight or my looks in a lonnnnnng time. And when I was I was going through puberty and grew out of it. For the past 5-6 years I've always been told I'm "not fat" and I'm "average." And I've been OK with that because I'm good at hair and makeup and I dress well so I pretty much make myself a 7 on the pretty-scale (maybe I'm being generous. But I think I'm pretty enough).

Sorry, more rambling. I'll stop now.

I hope everyone else is staying motivated, and if you know how to use that arm-cardio machine at the gym, HIT ME UP!

Love y'all.



PS, I'm totally changing the look of this blog. Again. Be ready.