The jig is up.

I finally got up the nerve to step on the scale this morning when I woke up. It wasn't worse than I expected, thank God. But it still was disappointing. I'm back up to 187, bringing my total weight loss to 15 pounds since January instead of 20, which I had reached about a month ago. Since then, I have barely made a habit of going to the gym after work since I switched jobs, then I broke my toe and felt sorry for myself as you probably already know.

I'm all over the place. At home I'm eating healthy, because I don't keep unhealthy food in the house. That's one accomplishment I can say I've made in this new year. But if I'm out, and I'm hungry, I've stopped at Jack in the Box or In & Out. I haven't made a super bad habit of it, but it's bad regardless. I've also been eating out at restaurants a LOT. I'm a social butterfly and I like to be with my friends and go out and have fun. I just need to exercise self-control when I'm out. Order off the skinny menu instead of the fat menu, drink Light Beer or just one glass of wine instead of a Brown Ale or a cocktail.

I also need to quit being a pansy and put on my tennis shoes and go to the gym and work through the pain of my toe. It's gonna be ok. Everyone breaks their toes.

I guess it all goes back to my original issue with every getting a fire lit under my butt to even START attempting to get in shape and lose weight: I'm OK with myself. I'm not necessarily thrilled when I look in the mirror, but I'm not disgusted, either. And, I know this is going to sound totally vain and shallow but it's the truth: when I have a boy in my life in any capacity, I lose motivation even more. They're happy with the way i look, so why bother? I know, I know...I'm sure they'd be even more happy with the way I looked if I was another 15-20 pounds lighter.

So what I've decided I need to do (among other things) is set solid goals. So here they are:

• Be at 175 (-12) lbs by June 30th. Unfortunate, because my previous goal was to be 170 by May 31st. But clearly that's not going to happen.
• Be a comfortable size 10 by June 30th as well.
• Long term=be at 155 lbs/size 8 (or maybe even a 6) by August 30th--remember I'm tall, people.

To make these happen, I know I need to keep tracking on MyFitnessPal to make sure I'm under 1500 calories a day, and MOVE MY ASS.

Today, big surprise, I have dinner plans after work. But tomorrow is my free day literally until next Tuesday, and I'm going to make the best of it and go to the gym when I'm off.

Enough of my pity party, now. First I want to share my new favorite healthy snack. I have a huge sweet tooth and I LOVE COOKIES.

They're pretty good sized and taste like a legitimite cookie. One thing I don't love about Kashi is, well, that most of their snacks taste healthy haha. They'll say chocolate but it tastes like mashed up raisins. But not these! They're 130 calories each and are a good quick snack to hold you over for a few hours.

I also want to share this. For everyone struggling like I am.

Gotta love Pinspirational quotes!

Alright. As usual this is part of the 5k Challenge Linkup with KTJ:

Happy Tuesday y'all!