2 pounds down (again)

Happy hump day everyone :)

I'm in a GREAT mood today because I found out I've lost 2 pounds since the last time I linked up for weigh-in Wednesday 2 weeks ago. I know that's nothing to write home about, but I was really disappointed in myself when I saw how much weight I had gained.

Let me recap this for you....

1 year and a few months ago I started my fitness/weight loss journey. In about 6 months, I had lost 20 pounds (from 203 to 183). I maintained that--give or take a couple of pounds--for a long while, but at some point recently I gained 10 pounds back.

Now I'm at 191. I want to get back into the 180s by this time next week, and never ever get back into the 190s again. I was able to do that with the 200s, so why shouldn't I be able to do that with the 190s? Baby steps.

Here's some pictures of what I looked like before I started caring about what I was eating and how much I was working out:

 

I was about 200 pounds and a size 14.

 

By April-May of last year I had gotten down to 183 and a size 12:

 

 

 

Now I'm at 191. Still fitting into my size 12s (thank God), but not necessarily comfortably.

 

 



 



I've tried to be better about my eating, but I'm still not tracking it. It's just not my thing. I think I do a pretty decent amount on most days of being balanced, and I've cut way back on the drinking (this weekend was an exception because of Klarisa being here, so we went wine-tasting). I've also been doing 30 minutes and about 2.8-3 miles on the elliptical at the gym, followed by weights. So hopefully it's all smooth sailing from here.

 

 

YEAH RIGHT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a completely unrelated note, I made the decision to put down my sweet kitty Jewel this weekend. I know i wrote about her before, because we were struggling with deciding what to do with her for a while. It finally got to the point where it was obvious she was miserable, and had no idea when she was going to the bathroom. She was 16 years old, and I know she missed my dog Buddy who she literally grew up with. It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do so far in my life, which I guess is a blessing because in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad, and everyone has to do it at some point. But still. It's been a struggle the last few days and I'm sure it will continue to be one, dealing with the decision I made.

 

 

Anyhoo, i'll stop at that. Hope y'all have a great week!

OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

And today is legitimately a HAPPY hump day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the job at my work!!! I'm now officially the Group Rooms Coordinator :) :) :)

I'm SO RELIEVED/EXCITED/HAPPY.

My prayers have been answered, and I finally feel confident that the decisions I've made thus far (or at least most of them) have been good ones. Thank you for all your words of encouragement and prayers/good thoughts :) I truly appreciate it.

Now.........

Alright, the celebrations can wait til the weekend.




Anyhoo, today is also a good day because I lost a pound since last week. Hollaaaaa. Back to 185.

With this new job will come normal hours: Monday-Friday, 8AM to 4:30PM. So I'm going to get a gym membership back again. I'm nervous, but excited to try and find my groove in a gym again.

Now. Can we please discuss the Biggest Loser finale last night?!??!!

I know some of you watch it. And I know I've made it clear that I think it was a mistake to cast Rachel at all 1) because of her very young age (she's my age) and 2) because she was a very successful athlete only 5 years ago. Well, maybe it was the age that was the problem, but she looked EMACIATED when she walked out last night. Her face was sunken in. Her bones were protruding. Her teeth looked horsey and disproportionately large, I was just SHOCKED. And then, her weight 105!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!

I can't find any info on her height, but I'm fairly positive Rachel Frederickson is too tall to be that weight.

What do y'all think??? Am I being hypercritical??? I see people already agree with me.

Pretty sure this was my face when she walked out:

And nobody can deny Jillian Michaels had the same expression before she realized the cameras were on her.

Now, Bobby, Jennifer, Tumi (HOLY CRAP) and Chelsea, on the other hand? They all looked FANTASTIC.

I love Chelsea.

Alrighty people. That's all I got for today. Love y'all.

No changes. At all.

Hey fools!!

No news on the job front.  At all. Which is highly aggravating but whatever.

Before I delve into the latest weigh-in Wednesday post ever, let menshow you my weekend:

Friday night the new friendboy (not discussing further for fear of jinxing) and I cooked dinner. I found premade polenta at Walmart and was dying to do something with it, so we made bacon cheddar polenta with cajun shrimp (basically cheesy shrimp and grits). It was SCRUMPTIOUS.

And then on Sunday, I went to a meeting with the Kappa Deltas (I'm going to be an adviser for the SDSU chapter!!!) and it was in the morning, so I brought a stuffed french toast casserole...

Yep. It was as delicious as it sounds.

I guess it goes without saying, though, that I've been eating like CRAP. I've been stuffing my face and eating when I get stressed. I have done 30 Day Shred the last few days, and I've actually found myself wanting to get a gym membership again....partly so I can tan. I'm pale.

I just feel AWFUL lately. Yesterday I stuffed my face at Smashburger for lunch and it tormented me all night and all morning. Try doing 30 Day Shred Level 2 with that mess. Yeah. Not fun.

Luckily I haven't gained any more since last week. I'm still up 2 pounds though, in general.

A while ago I posted about potentially going to Navy OCS if something doesn't give here soon, and I've resolved to prepare myself physically to go over the next several months, if only to get myself in great shape and form healthy eating habits again. Then, if it does come to me deciding to go for it, I'm ready. And if I find a good job without going down that route, at least I've improved myself.

I know, I've said all this before. But I don't ever remember just feeling so down on myself. I made the decision to start losing weight and attempting to get healthy simply because I knew I wasn't as good as I could have been, overall. But I never had reached a point where I could hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. I'm at that point now. It's ironic that I'm almost 20 pounds less and a size smaller than I was when I started this blog, though.

Funny how life works, I guess.

Anyhoo. That's all I got for today. And since it's still Wednesday here in so-cal, I'm linking up for Weigh-In Wednesday.

Peace out playas. 

Gripes and weigh-in Wednesday, with a little help from my favorite housewives.

Hey fools! Again, I apologize for being such a terrible blogger. Things are still crazy.

A little update on my Grammy: She's been in a ton of pain recovering from her surgery, and we think maybe she underestimated how major of a surgery it was because her spirits seem to be worse than they've ever been. She's been rude to the nurses and doctors. My grandma has NEVER been that mean old lady who treats the medical professionals like garbage. She used to be a nurse! She's always been the nurses' favorite person. But after the surgery since she's been in the hospital she's been mean and aggravated. Then yesterday I went to visit her and when I walked into her room she had fallen asleep mid-bite eating breakfast. I woke her up and we chatted for a second, and I thought she seemed a little better. Really she just wasn't all drugged up on morphine so she just was a little bit more coherent. But then when I went to leave and said I was going to work, she asked where I was going to work at. I said "the hotel..." And she said "where are you working now?" And I said again, "the hotel in Del Mar." Then she asked how long I've been working there, and I said since last April. Then she said "well that's nice that I'm just now finding out." We've had probably 100 conversations about my job since I started there almost a year ago. I have no idea why she all of a sudden lost that memory, but it scared me. I just am praying she didn't have another mild stroke. And get this: The doctors are talking about discharging her!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

Actually,

I try REALLY hard to not be that person, that family member who thinks they know more than the doctors and nurses. But that is bull shit. First of all, they need to make sure she didn't have another stroke. Second of all, the nursing home she's in is full of idiots who couldn't take care of her properly before, when she was a pretty self-sufficient person other than having no use of her right leg and arm. How do you think they're going to take care of her now that shes' recovering from having her thyroid removed???

Anyway. That's my primary concern at the moment.

As far as the job goes, I'm still waiting to find out a decision on the internal and external positions I applied for. Fingers crossed.

On to weigh-in Wednesday....

I'm up 2 pounds from last week. Not a surprised since I ran today for the first time since last week also. And considering the stress I've been feeling.

Luckily today I got a mile and a half, my goal, without stopping. But it was hard. I had two breathing cramps and my right shoulder started acting up, and my teeth started hurting toward the end. I've done some research and the pain in my teeth and mouth when I run, which I can only describe as extreme pressure, must be a byproduct of my sinus issues and deviated septum. Again, another reason to get that taken care of. And another reason to keep praying I can get a better job ASAP. As far as the shoulder pain, ever since I can remember, like even back to middle school, whenever I work out I get this awful sharp pain in my trap muscle on my right arm/side of my neck. I don't know why it's only on that side and no matter how much I try to loosen up that muscle beforehand it continues to make a cracking sound every time I try to work it out. It's like a really bad kink or something. It's extremely annoying. 

If you've gotten through this giant bitchfest, I truly commend you. I would have stopped reading a long time ago. 

Bottom line: I need to be positive right now. Being a negative nancy isn't going to change anything. I just wish it were that easy. 

Pretty much.

On a different note....have y'all been watching the Biggest Loser??? I am SO HAPPY Tanya went home! She is LAZY. It's about damn time she faced a red line on her own, not on a team. Jesus. I liked Marie though. I've said this before and I'll say it again, though, as sweet as Rachel is, she's 23 years old and was a state-champion-level athlete only 5 years ago. OF COURSE she's lost the most weight the quickest!! I don't think that's fair. And maybe I'm a little jealous she's a size 6 now. But seriously. 

Who do I want to win? Chelsea. I. Love. Chelsea. And I want that outfit Tim put her in with the green skirt and denim jacket and cowgirl boots. Please and thanks. 

And David without the beard was amazing.

Anyway. I'm gonna end this post on a funny note. Because this is pretty much how I feel about life right now:

Bahahahahaha. 

Later fools!

It was only a matter of time.

Happy Hump Day, fools!

Good news: My Grammy had an uncomplicated surgery. They're keeping her in ICU for a couple of days just to monitor her (because she had a major surgery, she was sick when they did the surgery, and she's old--why that freaks my mom out, I don't know). But she should be good to go soon :) Thank you for the prayers and well thoughts.

Now for a Weigh-in Wednesday post....

I'm back to the weight I was before the holidays. I went up a few pounds and was horrified, so thank God. But I haven't been good about working out or running at all. Part of it is because I absolutely HATE how crowded the trail I run has gotten since the new year. I mean really...I had to snap a pic on Monday:

That's just one group of people. But they have taken over. The entire trail looks like that right now. And I went early on Monday!

Yesterday I didn't run because I needed to take the morning to prepare for my interview at work, but this morning I went. I haven't had a horrible workout in a long time. Like, since I still had my gym membership and would run on the treadmill (which I hate). Normally, when I run outside, and on this trail, it takes about a half a lap around the lake (about .4 miles) to get in my groove, and then I'm good to go. This morning was different. Let me list the things that irritated me to the point I stopped after 1 lap and called it a day:

1) I got a rock in my shoe before I even started
2) I thought maybe running in the direction opposite of the one most people go would alleviate having to dodge people, because I would just stay to the very far right of the trail. WRONG. There were STILL WALKERS WHO WERE JUST MEANDERING ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE.
3) Piggy-backing off #2, the hills when I run in the direction I always do are steep and quick, then you gradually go back downhill. Well, I didn't think it would be any big deal to go the other way. Well it was. The gradual and long inclines killed me.
4) Pandora kept playing slow songs and I kept having to skip it.
5) It was DRY and breathing actually hurt.
6) It was hot. In fact it was about 10 degrees hotter than it's been, at least. I didn't think it would make a difference but I guess it makes sense since I've become a better runner in the last couple months, during which it has been a wee bit chilly by San Diego standards.
7) My boobs must be shrinking (again) because I wore my favorite Victoria's Secret bra which always does a great job holding them in, and today they were bouncing all over the place and I kept having to re-adjust so they didn't fly out and flash somebody.

Today just wasn't my day. I know it was just a bad day. But I really wish I had handled it different and just kept going, even if it meant just walking. Instead, I stopped after one lap and went straight to my car.

Eff.

I just feel a little defeated today. In all honesty though, I guess it was really only a matter of time before I had another bad run, since it's been so long.




I still have multiple interviews to get through in the next couple of days (for the internal job and the other one), so I really felt like exercising would help clear my mind. I've been feeling like I'm getting the flu or something because I've been extremely tired, achy, and I keep getting the chills. So maybe that had something to do with my funk today.

Anyhoo. Hopefully things will be changing rapidly in the next few weeks, and I can adjust to those changes without sacrificing my health. Luckily, I have been eating pretty well. Lots of Greek Yogurt, ground turkey, fish, chicken, etc. Also, Special K. I love that cereal.

In other news, I finally cleaned and organized by vanity area this weekend:

Impressive, right?

Ha.

OK, I hope y'all are having a great week. One of my friends posted on facebook this morning "Get the f*ck up and make Hump Day your bitch!" I LOLed.

Peace out, playas.

Trying to get serious.

Wellp, it's Wednesday again so I weighed in. And again, no change.

I know why. It's because I'm not being aggressive with my diet. I'm eating well so I can eat bad things and/or drink, and running to also cancel that out. I know it will all be better after the holidays but geesh. This is like the 3rd or 4th week of no change. Guess I need to really start taking my diet seriously.

But Monday I got up and ran a mile around the neighborhood, and today I went to the lake by my house. I was shocked at how many people were there at 9:30 on a weekday................but that speaks to the kind of neighborhood I live in, if ya catch my drift.

Anyhoo, I wrote before that it's a mile loop. Then before I went I looked on the lake's website and it said it was a 2 mile loop. Then while I was running I thought "there's no way this is 2 miles because I haven't been running long enough." So I went around again and stopped halfway, and then looked at my Nike App to see this:

Wommmmmp wommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp.

I walked back to the start (where the green area is in that corner) and passed a sign that said "Lake Chollas Running Trail: 1 Lap=.8 miles, 2 Laps=1.6 miles..." and so on and so forth. So, both of the information I had was wrong. I wasn't necessarily mad, but just a little aggravated I didn't know that before because I didn't walk by that sign when I started, and then when I passed it and kept going I didn't even notice it. But at least now I know for next time, I need to go around twice to get my 1.5 miles in for my 5K training. Which I wrote about on Monday.

Anyway, at least I had a nice view today, not of the trailer park

It's a gorgeous day today (finally). It's going to be in the upper-60s at the beach. Holllaaaaaa. (I work at the beach).

In completely unrelated news and just because I need to get it off my chest: We're probably going to be putting my sweet kitty, Jewel, down this week or next. I don't know if I've ever written about her on here, but she's been in my life for 15 years. That's the majority of my life, people. That's a long time. We got her when she was a kitten right after we got my childhood dog, Buddy. Buddy passed away two and a half years ago and at first Jewel was devastated (like my mom and I) but then she got used to being the queen of the castle, basically. So, when I got Winnie, she was pissed. She never liked Winnie, but it wasn't until I took Winnie to Memphis and brought her back 6 months later that Jewel got seriously mad. She didn't mind my mom's dog (probably because she can tell he's too stupid to do anything to her. Winnie is smart.) but she hated Winnie. She started refusing to leave my mom's room and peeing on my mom's bed out of spite eeevvvverrrryyyy single day. So we moved all her stuff into my bathroom and that has been where she lives for the last 6 months or so. I hate that she's stuck in there, but she just couldn't be trusted. Recently, she started having obvious mobility issues. She's stopped trying to get on the counter because, well, she can't. When she tries to walk she basically drags her butt around. She can get in and out of the litterbox sometimes, so there's always a mess to clean up. And the last couple days it's gotten really bad. And it's become clear she can't even control it anymore. I've been saying for a while that we need to put her down and I think my mom might finally be on-board. Of course we go in and spend time with her every day, and I see her every time I go into the bathroom, but she's not happy anymore and on top of that she's losing control of all her functions anyway. She's 15, too, so I know it's just about that time for her. But it doesn't make it any less sad.

Alrighty fools, that's all I got for today. Hope y'all are having a better week than me. Say a little prayer for Jewel if you have a heart for animals. I just want her to know how much I love her.

My longest run yet

Sorry for the late post. I have today off, so I've been lazy.

LIE. I just got home from a run. I'll get to that in a minute. First, weigh-in Wednesday:

Still no change in my weight from last week to this week. Which I guess is a good thing considering it was Thanksgiving weekend? I'm trying to watch what I'm eating a lot more, but my biggest problem is eating out. I do it wayyyy too much (it's part of being young and single, isn't it?!) and I have no self control at a restaurant.

I have been slowly but surely getting more regular about my running. But I'm not totally naive enough to think that's enough. I think I'm going to start 30 Day Shred over again and integrate it in on days I don't run. It can only help my stamina anyway, right?

Apparently I just need to go on Project Runway...



Can we please talk about Biggest Loser? Have any of y'all been watching it??? I was SO SAD to see Holly go last week!!! She was one of my faves on there for real. And obviously her friendship with Bob was just too much.

Did you know I cry every single episode of that damn show??? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Anyhoo, right about now is the time I start to get motivated when I watch because some of the younger girls are getting into "onederland" which I've been hanging out in since the beginning of the year. It didn't take me long (since I started at 203) but once the girls on there start to creep up on me (and eventually pass me up) I get a fire under my ass. Let's hope it sticks this time. But I guess my new favorites are either Chelsea or Jennifer. I like Rachel too, but I feel like she's already been an athlete so if she went home she would be fine maintaining this and continue to lose the weight. But I have a feeling she's going to be this year's Danni (who I LOVE) and win the whole shebang.

Moving on.

Today I decided to bite the bullet and attempt to up my mileage (just a wee bit). I drove to Lake Murray, which is actually a part of Mission Trails, where I've gone the last couple weekends. It's a pretty sizeable lake, and I'm pretty sure the trail goes 4 miles total around, but it doesn't connect, so you have to turn back around at some point. But you can still run pretty far.

First things first: I live in San Diego. It's hilly. Actually it's mountainous. But whatevs. My neighborhood where I've been running is on a hill, so I thought Lake Murray would be no problem. Well, I was wrong. My hood ain't got NOTHING on Lake Murray, y'all! So it was rougher than I thought. I got to .8 miles and thought for sure I had gone further, all because of how tired the hills had made me. But I kept going. I turned around right at a mile (which I didn't even realize because I put my phone back in le old bra and kept going) and actually got to just about 1.5 miles before I slowed to a power walk. But I'm such a slow runner, I didn't really lose much by walking. I wound up running the rest of the downhills and walking the rest of the uphills till I got back to my starting point.

It was hard.

I had multiple breathing cramps. MULTIPLE.

And I had some bitch who I caught up to that wouldn't freaking let me pass and stay ahead of her. It messes with my mind a lot when I got running with other people (which is why I choose not to do that anymore) so having this ass hole literally teetering between being a few feet behind me and right next to me the last mile was hard. Jerk.

But anyway, I'm proud of myself either way. I'm not ashamed of how slow I went. I'm a slow runner. And in time I'm sure I'll get faster naturally. But for now, I'm not concerned with my pace, I'm concerned with distance. Isn't that how it's supposed to be anyway? Today I ran farther than I ever have at one time. Let that sink in for a sec :)

Well, that's all I got this Wednesday. I hope y'all are having a great week!

WIW--still struggling.

Hey fools! Sorry no post the last couple days. This is going to be quite a jumble, as usual, on a weigh-in Wednesday.

Friday night was awesome. We had a girls night and drank wine and played Cards Against Humanity (quite possible one of my favorite games of all time).

Saturday........I dyed my hair. I promise I'm not naked in this picture:

Yep, I finally did it!!! What do y'all think??? I also got Aveda Black Malva conditioner, which I've read is really helpful for preventing fading. In the past when I've gone dark it has always faded to a mousy brown sooo quickly, which was a big reason I hesitated doing this for so long. So fingers crossed that expensive shit works like it's supposed to.

Sunday Cassandra and I went for another hike in Mission Trails. We didn't track how long it was, but I think it was about 3 miles roundtrip. It was a GORGEOUS day.

I love Mission Trails.

So Monday I didn't wake up and run. I didn't get much sleep all weekend, so I was just sleepy. I know, excuses excuses.

Tuesday I went. I told myself I was going to go that mile without stopping no. matter. what. And I did. I'm starting to really get it when I run. If you run, you know what I mean. But what I'm still struggling with is finding the motivation to GET OUT OF BED. Why am I STILL having a hard time with this??

I'm just starting to get really frustrated with myself. I didn't gain or lose anything this last week. And that's all my fault. I better get up and run tomorrow because we all know I'll gorge myself on Thanksgiving dinner later on.

I'm also still frustrated in other areas of my life. Mainly my career. I told y'all I didn't do as well as I had planned on the GMAT, and I don't know if y'all realize just how overqualified I am for my current job. I have a business administration degree (with honors) in Hotel Management. And I am doing a job that, quite frankly, you could train a monkey to do. And I thought it was boring when we were busy. Y'all. Now that we're "slow" in the off-season, I literally sit there for HOURS without a single phone call. I'm not exaggerating. And I can't find anything else because I don't have a year of hotel experience. Bitch, I have 4 years of hotel experience in my opinion with what I went through in college!!!! Ahhhhh. I just feel like I'm stuck. I'm living with my mother. I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I'm baaaaarely scraping by every two weeks when I get paid after all my bills are paid and, you know, I live life. I just feel like a complete failure. Hopefully I get into an MBA program and that will be the tide-changer in my post-grad life. Because something has got to change. I know I need to give it more time at my current position before I start looking elsewhere, but how long is enough??!!! I definitely think me feeling like such a failure at life is a factor in having a hard time motivating myself to get healthy and fit again.

But, I have realized I need to start tracking my food again. I added my ticker at the bottom of the page because it's way too big for my sidebar (as if that will keep me more accountable or something) so feel free to add me on there too. I did start tracking with MFP after I had stopped doing WW, which is why my total lost so far is only 4 pounds. It's really 20.

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Anyhoo, sorry this post has been kinda emo. I'm just telling y'all what's really going on in my head and I guess hoping somehow it helps everything.

I hope y'all are having a better weigh-in Wednesday than me!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Yep, I used to be that kid who couldn't run a 1/4 of a mile.

Hey fools. It's weigh-in Wednesday. So here it goes: I gained a pound. Wommmp wommmmp. I am convinced it's because I caved and got Jack in the Box last night on my way home from work, and then had a couple glasses of red wine at my friend's house afterwards. Oopsies. No more, I swear.

I wrote on Monday that when I woke up my arches were hurting, so I didn't go run. That was stupid.

I'm pretty sure they were hurting because of my work shoes. They're starting to get stretched out, and they're just Steve Madden flats. But either way, I should have just gone. So yesterday that's what I did. I was fine, and today I got up and ran too. I'm trying to stick with it for real this time.



That's so true. When I don't get up and run, I feel horrible about myself the rest of the day. But when I do, I feel better in general. Why is finding the motivation to actually LEAVE THE HOUSE so dang difficult!?!

Today was also a harder run that yesterday. My sinuses were causing more issues than usual. I'm not sure if I've shared the fact that I have a deviated septum that causes me to have extremely bad post-nasal drip ALL THE FUCKING TIME (it's that annoying, people), snore like a freaking freight train, and whenever I breathe in--I mean every single time--my ears get clogged. So I'm constantly popping my ears. It's extremely annoying and I've seen an ENT, just haven't been able to justify the money for a deductible right now to have the surgery. Anyway, sometimes it's worse than others. Today it was worse. My ears were getting extremely clogged with every breath, and clogged ears results in a thrown-off equilibrium. SO I was dealing with that today, and I got a breathing cramp about halfway through the mile I've been running without stopping (big deal, get to that in a sec). But, I KEPT GOING. I knew I was going to be ok, so I kept pushing.

I got all sappy when I got home because I realized how back in high school, no matter how many chubbier kids there were than me, I was always, without fail, the slowest runner whenever we had to do the damn weekly mile run. I couldn't make it one lap (1/4 of a mile) without stopping and feeling like I was going to die. So being able to just keep going for a mile, with a breathing cramp or without, with sinus issues or without, and keep a pace even when I'm fucking around with Pandora (because Pandora sucks, but I love it), is a big freaking deal.

Anyway, moving on....

I also know I need to start going for longer distances. I currently have a route around my gated neighborhood I stick to. It's about 1 and a quarter miles, so not much. But up until now that has been sufficient because I was so terrible at running. But now I want to go further. The problem is, I live in the hood. For reals. So I don't want to leave the gate, but I don't want to make multiple loops either, because I know I will convince myself not to. If I went somewhere where the loop was, say, 2 miles, I would be forced to go the entire distance. Make sense?? So I'm thinking this weekend I'll have to try to find a place locally with a longer loop that's in a safe area.

I know, I have problems.

In other, completely irrelevant news (that's normal around here, though), I'm SO HAPPY the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back. SO. STINKING. HAPPY. I mean, the Miami girls were entertaining but they were getting to be a little too much for me. There's just something classy and timeless about the Beverly Hills women.



Ok maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but they crack me up. And lets be real, Brandi says what we're all thinking. And I love her for that.



The Atlanta 'wive are back too. Listen, I will shamelessly call those girls ghetto as all get-out. They are. Don't try to deny that. But they're soooo funnnyyyyyy. This made me LOL the most so far:



I'm addicted to the Real Housewives.

I guess it could be worse though.

Anyway, I hope y'all have a great Weigh-In Wednesday, and cheers to you if you're like me and forcing your office to listen to Christmas music even though it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Ummm helllooooo Country Christmas on Pandora is AMAZING.

That's all for now, chicas.

Hungover on a Wednesday.

Uuuggksjhfkjshfkshfkshdfkshrioiojwioewfmksndsjfsh.

Yes, I'm hungover on a Wednesday. Which is a reason I'm posting this so late.

I hd today off work because I worked on Sunday, so naturally last night I went to the country bar. I drank cheap white zin that I'm fairly certain came out of a box. Listen, I lived off box wine in college. I should have just had an IV drip of Franzia, really. But I'm now an old lady wine snob and I just can't handle the cheap stuff anymore. Because I haven't been this hungover in a long time.

OK that's a lie. But for reals. This is ridiculous.

I am pathetic.

BUT I lost 2 pounds since last week. Holllaaaaaa!!! So I was 203 when I started this blog in January. I'm now 181. Not a ton of weight lost in one year, but I'm really excited about continuing to lose more now. I'm really liking running and I'm perfectly content with having cancelled my gym membership. I want to be a runner.



So on my Christmas list this year will be a few running goodies. I really want one of these SPI Belts that Elle Noel suggested. And obvs I want the American Flag one.

I also want some Yurbuds. Do any of y'all use them? I can't freaking stand constantly having to adjust my earphones when I run. It's annoying.

And completely unrelated to running, I want Garth Brooks' new music set. I MEAN DUH.

Alright fools, happy weigh-in wednesday. I surely hope non of y'all are hungover like I am.

The start of my quarter-life crisis

Happy Hump Day everybody :) Annnnd happy 22 and 364/365ths birthday to meeeeeeeee.......yep, tomorrow's the day I turn 23. Let the quarter-life-crisis begin!!!

To be honest, I've been thinking a lot about turning 23 and how I really want to get to a healthy weight and state in my life because I really do want to get married and start having kids in the next 4-5 years. So why keep putting it off.

I've totally slacked since last week on 30 Day Shred. And by slacked I mean...I haven't done it since Thursday. I'm PMSing which I think has something to do with my lack of motivation and feeling just tired all the time and wanting to lay around and do nothing. But I did weigh myself this morning and I've lost 1 pound since last week. I'm not seeing results, but oh well. I think I'm going to stay on week 2 for another full week (since this weekend will be full of drinking wine and eating food), and then start week 3 and really kick it into high gear.


Also, at work yesterday, the girl I've been filling in for (who's job I want) didn't come back from her trip with any good news. So...I'm going to start really keeping an eye on what else is out there. I love my job but it's really at the point now where I'm paying to go to work. The miles I put on my car with my long commute have made me get two oil changes in the last 6 months. My car is going to be out of warranty way before it should be. And gas here is effing expensive. On the upside, I am going to be starting to work the noon-8:30 shift every day next week from then on basically, so I won't be hitting traffic and hopefully I'll be getting better MPG than when I sit in an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic each way every day. 
That also means I'm going to start a routine with the gym. Going there in the morning and getting ready there and going straight to work. I'm nervous! What if I forget something? Like my bra? Or my blowdrier? Or anything!??! Ahhhh. 
Do any of you get ready at the gym for work??? How do you do it!??! 

Also, this is totally irrelevant and if you follow me on instagram you've already seen it anyway, but....I took this picture of Winnie the other night and my heart just melts every time I look at it. 

Those ears. That blissful look on her face. Getting her belly rubbed. It just captures the essence of Winnie :) 
Yes, I'm obsessed with my dog. 
Alright time to go to work. Later fools!

My current anxieties.

Well it's Wednesday which means it's time to weigh in...

Good news! I'm down two pounds from last week, 3 pounds total since I started 30DS. So I'm slowly chipping away (again) at the weight I've already lost (twice) in the last year. Please, God, let this be the real time.

So I've been pretty consistent with 30 Day Shred. My endurance is improving and I can feel myself getting stronger. I'm even trying to not do the modified moves as often as possible. I'm not seeing the scale results I want, but hopefully by the time I'm done I will. I've been making pretty smart choices with food, with the exception of this weekend (alcohol binge on Saturday followed by carbs carbs carbs on Sunday to ease my hangover). 

I find it strange that even though I'm doing well with my diet and exercise, I'm in such a funk in every other way. In the past, when I've been eating well and working out, I feel better about everything. But for some reason something is just wrong. I have a knot in my stomach more often than not and I constantly feel on the verge of tears. I'm stressed about money, and my director (who hired me) told me he resigned yesterday and is moving on to bigger and better things. Which is good for him. But I have a very unsettling feeling about him leaving in regards to me. I feel like he was on my side in this position being a career move for me, and whoever comes in to replace him is just going to look at me as another reservations agent. I NEED to have moved up by the end of the year or early next year. It's just the honest truth. And without him here I'm nervous about the chances of that happening. 

Chris is also being a general butthead. I've talked about this enough already, so I won't talk about it anymore. But it's not helping this feeling I'm having of just uneasiness all the time. 

I'm also having breathing problems the last couple of days. I thought it was just because it's super stuffy in my office, but at home I'm feeling it too. I just can't take a deep enough breath. And during a crazy dream I was having last night I felt like I was being suffocated, to the point I woke up. This happened once before (when Chris was here) but I wasn't feeling breathing problems during the day. Is this related to anxiety I may be having?? I don't know. I've always been very suck-it-up and get-over-it when it comes to things like stress, anxiety, and even depression. But maybe this is a real thing. 

I just don't know. I feel like, for the most part, I'm just at my wits end with a lot of things, and if one bad thing happens in the next, ohhhhh, month, I'm going to lose it. 

Sorry to be such a debbie downer. But if anyone has any words of wisdom, they'd be greatly appreciated right about now. 

Weighing in, finishing the sentence, and remembering 9/11

Hey fools! So I'm an idiot and forgot to weigh myself this morning. I had every intention to. But the scale is now in my mom's bathroom and, well, I'm an airhead and if something isn't right in front of me, I'll forget about it. I sowwy. But since I MEANT to weigh myself and participate in Weigh-In Wednesday..I'm linking up anyway :)


I've been doing well with 30 Day Shred. I'm really liking it a lot, even though in the moment I hate it. I also haven't had beer in 2 weeks and I'm keeping it that way until I'm done with the program. It's just so bad for your stomach fat. Wine, on the other hand, isn't so bad lol. Don't judge me.

Also, something kind of helping me stay motivated is that Chris and his mom decided to buy the DVD and are doing it while he's home in Colorado on leave, together. Isn't that adorable?? He's a momma's boy. And he needs to get back in shape for his new duty station. So we have a bet to see who can lose the most inches off their belly. My money's on Chris's mom. But if I win he says he'll take me to a nice romantic "fancy" dinner. Which in Redneck-speak means Red Lobster or something. Oh well.

So tomorrow I will weigh myself before I head to work. Lord, please tell me I've lost some weight since last week.

Moving on, it's another round of Finish-The-Sentence, with Holly and Jake!


My happy place...Is on the beach laying in the sun with a cold drink in my hand, and country music playing. Yep. See? I'm not that high-maintenance.

Whatever happened to...Blockbusters? I really miss being able to think of a movie I want to watch, and go get it. I'm an instant-satisfaction kinda girl. Netflix just doesn't do it for me. And Redbox, would it kill you to do a little market research? Why are there Barbie Princess DVDs in a Redbox on a college campus? Or on a military base?? Why???

So what if I...I go off on rants often? It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to :)

E! needs a reality show about...Ummm how about real, hard-working people for once, E?!?!? Ugh. I can't stand any of the garbage that channel plays, from the Kardashians to E "News". Notice how I put news in quotations because it's NOT NEWS. How about reporting something of subtance for once? Instead of where Reese Witherspoon went grocery shopping and someone from One Direction walks their dog? My God, people. Get a life. Sorry, end rant.

My go-to fast food meal is...In and Out. One of the perks of living in So-Cal I guess :)

Cheeseburger with Animal-Style Fries. GET IN MY BELLY.

You might not know that I...have a legitimite fear of the ocean and while I love being at the beach and on a boat, looking AT the ocean, I generally will not go in. Even if it's just to dip my feet in.

The hottest quarterback in the NFL is...Phillip Rivers. Duh.



I mean, hello.

I even think he's hot when he's pitching a hissy fit. Can you blame him, he's a Charger after all.

btw, I love my team but holy shit that game on Monday was terrible. I sure hope this isn't the way the rest of the season will be...AGAIN. Oh, the life of a San Diego sports fan.

If I could....snap my fingers and lose this weight without lifting a finger, I totally would. Screw hard work and changing your lifestyle.


Me too, Kathy, me too.

My personality is awesome because...ummmmmm..........you tell me?

Twerking is...Stupid as shit. Sorry I'm not sorry.

I think it's super gross when...People twerk.

Someone needs to tell Miley Cyrus....I don't think anyone needs to tell Miley Cyrus anything. On the other hand, someone does need to give the entire world a newsflash that 1) She's an adult and can do whatever the hell she wants 2) It's completely insane that anyone was offended considering when she was A MINOR she danced on a stripper pole at the TEEN CHOICE AWARDS and posed NAKED in Vanity Fair (with her dad there on both occasions!), 3) Saying her ass is flat and that she needs to do squats is horrible, and 4) There are far more important things going on in the world than some child star losing her mind, for example, the fact that our government was contemplating starting World War 3 at the same time Miley got a little inappropriate at the VMAs (and since when are the VMAs some upstanding moral platform for good????????). Sorry, there I go on my soapbox agan.


Now, in all seriousness, it is obviousl September 11th. Today is the 12-year anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center. I started crying on my way to work this morning hearing the DJs talk about it and interviewing a local who happened to be vacationing in New York that day, a few blocks from the towers. Then of course they've been playing the many country songs written in response to 9/11, and I couldn't take it anymore. I hope everyone says a prayer today for the families who lost loved ones that day and have lost loved ones over the last 12 years as a result of that day. I'm proud of my military family members and friends who have sacrificed so much of their lives to fight those horrible people who did that to us, but I want them home. I pray all this crap that's been happening around the world magically stops. I know that will never happen, but it's ok to dream, right??

Anyway, that's all I got for today. Have a great Wednesday, and never forget why this day is so important!


From me.