Wednesday, September 25, 2013

My current anxieties.

Well it's Wednesday which means it's time to weigh in...

Weigh In Wedneday

Good news! I'm down two pounds from last week, 3 pounds total since I started 30DS. So I'm slowly chipping away (again) at the weight I've already lost (twice) in the last year. Please, God, let this be the real time.

So I've been pretty consistent with 30 Day Shred. My endurance is improving and I can feel myself getting stronger. I'm even trying to not do the modified moves as often as possible. I'm not seeing the scale results I want, but hopefully by the time I'm done I will. I've been making pretty smart choices with food, with the exception of this weekend (alcohol binge on Saturday followed by carbs carbs carbs on Sunday to ease my hangover). 

I find it strange that even though I'm doing well with my diet and exercise, I'm in such a funk in every other way. In the past, when I've been eating well and working out, I feel better about everything. But for some reason something is just wrong. I have a knot in my stomach more often than not and I constantly feel on the verge of tears. I'm stressed about money, and my director (who hired me) told me he resigned yesterday and is moving on to bigger and better things. Which is good for him. But I have a very unsettling feeling about him leaving in regards to me. I feel like he was on my side in this position being a career move for me, and whoever comes in to replace him is just going to look at me as another reservations agent. I NEED to have moved up by the end of the year or early next year. It's just the honest truth. And without him here I'm nervous about the chances of that happening. 

Chris is also being a general butthead. I've talked about this enough already, so I won't talk about it anymore. But it's not helping this feeling I'm having of just uneasiness all the time. 

I'm also having breathing problems the last couple of days. I thought it was just because it's super stuffy in my office, but at home I'm feeling it too. I just can't take a deep enough breath. And during a crazy dream I was having last night I felt like I was being suffocated, to the point I woke up. This happened once before (when Chris was here) but I wasn't feeling breathing problems during the day. Is this related to anxiety I may be having?? I don't know. I've always been very suck-it-up and get-over-it when it comes to things like stress, anxiety, and even depression. But maybe this is a real thing. 

I just don't know. I feel like, for the most part, I'm just at my wits end with a lot of things, and if one bad thing happens in the next, ohhhhh, month, I'm going to lose it. 

Sorry to be such a debbie downer. But if anyone has any words of wisdom, they'd be greatly appreciated right about now. 


  1. I so feel you about feeling down. I went through that about a month ago and it took a while to get back out. Send me a message if you want to chat! Here from WIW.

  2. (((HUGS))) I wonder if you are about to have a panic attack? That was the scariest feeling I have ever experienced in my life. I couldn't breath and felt like I was having a heart attack (or what I think one would feel like...) Just try to take it easy and take one problem at a time. Keep up with the exercise too. I think that in a way that can help. We are here if you need us!

  3. Keep it up girlfriend!! :) praying for you. I have anxiety problems. They are the worse. I just uped my meds.

  4. Will be thinking of you! I have anxiety issues too. UGH!