Struggling with self-control big time today.

Happy Hump Day!!! It's so close to Friday I can hardly stand it.

It's also weigh-in Wednesday...no change since last week. Bleh.


But allow me to show you what I struggle with on almost a daily basis in my damn office.


That's RIGHT NEXT TO MY DESK. The desk next to mine is empty, therefore it turns into the buffet for everyone to dump their snacks onto. In the container are my leftover cupcakes (I'm about to throw what's left of them away, just because I can.). There's also a container with little reese's and heath bars, and some 100 calorie cookie packs? Random. Brie. Some chocolate-almond trail mix. Cookies. Kettle born. Brie and crackers. And I strategically placed the roasted seaweed closest to me because, well, GAG. But seriously? Do you know how hard it is to a person with zero self-control, such as myself, who is also notorious for munching when she gets bored, to NOT graze all damn day?!?!??!!?!?!

So I just keep refilling my water bottle.


On a better note, I did bring my own lunch today: leftover skinny chicken alredo casserole from last night (I say skinny because the chicken is, well, just cooked chicken and the alfredo sauce is light. Still skinnier than what I would be eating here).


And just to show off because I love it so much, this beauty was waiting for me when I got home last night:

It's a perfect marriage of my love for my country and my sorority :)

Anyway. Looks like that's all I got for today. If you read this, please comment and remind me to NOT GRAZE THROUGHOUT THE DAY. I'll need any motivation I can get. I. Have. Zero. Self. Control.

Happy weigh-in Wednesday!

My work computer hates me.

Well my work computer is back to being a little bitch again and will only let me write my posts in HTML. It's extremely tedious and annoying. So sorry for the lack of a post yesterday. I guess I could have posted from home, but after being at a computer for 8 straight hours every day, the last thing I want to do when I'm not at work is be on a computer. I literally haven't opened my laptop since Saturday morning (to work on a friend's blog design) and before that I'm pretty sure I went a full work week without opening it. Anyway, the post would have been a phone dump pretty much summing up my weekend, so if you're at all interested, read on!




One of the girls from the San Diego Kappa Delta Alumnea Association came over and we baked all these cupcakes for Brittany to take to the races with us on Saturday. We took boxed funfetti cake mix and used the recipe that's floating around Pinterest for "how to make box cake taste liek it's from a bakery."....There isn't really any legitimite website or blog it goes to, it's basically just a pin with that caption and a blurb saying this:

Follow the box directions using the following substitutions:
-Use milk instead of water
-Add one more egg than it says to use
-Instead of oil, use double the amount in melted butter

I was extremely hesitant to use any pin that doesn't direct me to a blog where I can read the recipe and reviews/comments, but it turned out great!!! Then I used Carolina Charm's "trick" for Strawberry Lemonade icing, using Kool-Aid. So good!

Then on Friday, as I wrote about last week, Cassie came over and we made that Spaghetti Squash Alfredo (with some chicken and wine) and watched sappy girl movies all night. The squash turned out SO YUMMY!!! Definitely recommend trying it.


Saturday we were off to the races!!! If you follow me on instragram (which you totes should) you've probably seen all these anyway. Sorry I'm not sorry for being a photo recycler :)



We had such a great time meeting sisters from the West Coast! I'm soooo excited to start getting more involved with the Alumnea Chapter as well as the collegiate chapters at SDSU and USD. I can't be an advisor until I've been out of college for 2 years, but I can still go and help out and show them some love!

By the way, thank you to those of you who gave me some shoe advice. I went with the wedges (obvs) and felt cute all day :) My feet were hurting by the end of the day, but it wasn't terrible.

Sunday was spent at my best friend (Cassie's) sister's birthday party. We laid in the pool and drank and had tacos. It was a great summer day. Check out the taco spread...


Totally on my diet.


So that was my weekend. It looks liek my bloggy friends had pretty good weekends too :) I can't believe kids here are already starting to go back to school. Time is going way too fast. Yet this week can't go by quickly enough for me!!! Friday is the day the ex gets back into town and I'm so excited.

On a health note, I did go to the gym yesterday. I did a circuit, and I think I'm going to stick with doing that and running on and off and see how it goes.

If I could stand to write in HTML any longer I would, but I must stop now.

Happy Tuesday...it's almost Wednesday which means the week is practically halfway over!! Gotta be optimistic, people. Ta ta for now!

Five on Friday...I need shoe advice.

Hey fools! Happy Friday!

Source



Lilnking up for Five on Friday as usual....

First things first, I have weekend plans in general--this is a first in a while!

When I have weekend plans to look forward to

Thanks, whatshouldwecallme

Second, I've officially gotten invovled with my sorority's alum association here in San Diego. I've been back over a year and was always too scared to do it alone. Thanks to Brittany, it's finally happened! I can't wait to be back in a sisterhood again. I think it's going to be good for me, in general. And I can't wait to get involved as an alum with the collegiate chapters at SDSU and USD! I feel so old!

Source

Third, one of the plans this weekend is a day at the races tomorrow with the San Diego KD Alum. Association! I'm so excited. 1) I love the horse races. 2) I get to wear a floppy hat. 3) We have group tickets for the infield and apparently it's one big party.

I do need help deciding which shoes to wear, though. Help a girl out!

Dress is from Red Dress Boutique. I love it. Now, keep in mind...I could more easily bring my flask in wearing the boots....so what do you think. Boots, wedges, or sandals? I'll also be wearing a beige floppy hat.

And fourth, yes, that is my new cell phone case from Cicada Studios! I love it. I'm insecure not having an otterbox on it but after I posted this picture to instagram....

(Which, by the way, got me blocked from Personalized From Me To You's IG account--excuse my French but are you fucking kidding me? This is a business. And instead of being adults about their product being a POS, they ignore their customer and then block them from their social media. I also found out a sorority sister of mine got her same case from them broken upon arrival and they said she couldn't prove that she didn't break it herself. Yet when Mama Laughlin's kid threw her phone across the room and cracked the case, they fixed it free of charge and said there was some warranty covering it. Fuck them. Sorry I'm not sorry.)

Anyway, I digress. After I posted that to IG Cicada Studios said they just came out with a "tough case." Kind of like an otterbox. For the same price as the regular one. They also said they could duplicate the patterns on my yellow case for me. I think I might just take them up on that :)

And last but not least, tonight I'm hanging out and cooking dinner/watching a sappy movie with my best friend Cassie. We've been doing this a lot lately. And I'm thankful for her. A lot. I think I'm going to cook this...

Source

Cassie's never had spaghetti squash so I'm going to make her try it. And if she doesn't like it we can go to taco bell or something haha.

Anyway, that's all for me. I hope y'all have a fantastic weekend!

Really, tell me what shoes I should wear tomorrow please.

The pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming...

Well I'm going to keep this short and sweet (famous last words). I know I haven't updated y'all on my Sweet Summertime 7 goals, and the reason for that is...well...my heart just hasn't been in it. If you've been reading my very sporadic posts the last couple of weeks you know this entire month has kinda been a rough one for me in many ways. I just feel like I've been up and down. But last week I DID go on one run around the hood and to the gym. Then I proceeded to drink the entire weekend. I mean, literally the entire weekend. I went from happy hour Friday night to an all-day hangover Saturday which ended in dinner and drinking 3 bottles of wine with two girlfriends, to a hangover most of Sunday morning to wine-tasting in the afternoon.

I really just need to stop drinking. Even though I only do it on the weekends, I pretty much reverse everything good I've done for my body during the week in a matter of a couple of hours. So there's that.

I didn't go for a run on Monday as planned, but I cooked a healthy dinner of tilapia grilled fish tacos and cheesy Mexican-style quinoa. It was delicious. And yesterday I went to the gym. Today I'm going again, and tomorrow I'm supposed to run...I may just go to the gym though.

So this morning I weighed myself. I almost decided not to even tell you all that because I wasn't happy with what I saw. I will tell you I didn't lose anything, which isn't surprising, and I gained a few pounds, which also isn't shocking but still disappointing. I'm also at the tail end of my period though, so I'm just going to tell myself that's why :) BTW, I'm super happy my period is back to normal this month.

Sorry for the lame post. I hope everyone is having a good week--it's halfway over!! Hollaaaaaaa.

Just for some visual stimulation and a little inspiration, I'll leave you with this:

                                                                                 Source

That's all for now! Happy weigh-in Wednesday, fools.



The possibilities are endless

Happy Friday everyone!!!!

Source

Of course I'm linking up for Five on Friday. So here it goes:

I finally bit the bullet and bought the Rhonna Designs app. I love it. I messed around and made these so far:

Obsessed.

Also, I got these in the mail last night:

The water bottle and doggie were free with a Pink purchase. I love the Pink yoga pants and have been wanting shorts for a while. I decided these will be a good goal gift to myself. They fit, but I don't feel comfortable in them. So my goal is to get to a size where I'm comfortable in them (which is probably about 15 pounds from now).

I also ordered this this week:

It's a new case for my phone from Cicada Designs on Etsy. I discussed a few weeks ago how my $70 monogrammed otterbox from Personalized From Me To You cracked within three weeks of it being in my possession, and they have completely ignored every single attempt to contact them. I'm extremely PISSED OFF to say the least, but I still need a new phone case. This one was $15 and if it cracks I won't be super annoyed. Lesson learned, do not ever shop with Personalized From Me To You again.

Moving on.

I've been decent this week. I went for a run on Monday after work, and yesterday after work I went to the gym. Hollaaaaaa.

Source

Now I just need to make a habit of it again and get my eating back on track. I decided on a schedule for next week:

• Monday=Gym
• Tuesday=run around my neighborhood
• Wednesday=Gym
• Thursday=run around my nieghborhood
• Friday=Gym

Pretty simple, right? Wish me luck.

In other news, I found out last night that Snoop Dog changed his name to Snoop Lion....yes, I know, I live under a rock that only plays country music so I'm sure this happened months (or years, even) ago. But really??? Seriously????

Source

What a pathetic cry for attention. Just like P Diddy. Just like Kim and Kanye naming their minion North West. So. Freaking. Stupid. I plan on just referring to him as stupidass from now on, if he ever comes up in conversation.

And finally...I'm using my favorite new app to make this announcement...

The boy in the picture is my ex boyfriend. Here's our story: We met a little over two years ago (about 2 months and 2 years ago, actually) when he was in San Diego for a Navy school and I was here for my summer break. He was waiting on his next orders when we started dating, and after getting completely and totally smitten with him he found out he was going to be sent to a ship in Japan for the next 2 years. I was crushed. But he moved and we wound up making a long distance relationship work for a few months, and then when I went back to school for my senior year we kind of realized maybe we were crazy and broke up. But we couldn't stop talking to each other and when he got sent back to San Diego for a month for another school in February and I happened to be coming home for my Spring Break during that time, we spent the entire time I was home together (literally every second) and got back together.

The next time I saw him was in September when he got leave, and I flew to Colorado for a week to meet the fam. It was true love. Then less than a month later, he got his next set of orders for when he would be done in Japan. We were expecting San Diego, or at least somewhere in the continental US since those were what he requested, but instead they gave him orders ro Bahrain for another year and a half, starting this summer. I was completely devastated. We had talked about a long-term future together, banking on him getting orders back here and he didn't. So we broke up. We couldn't justify making an impulsive decision to, ya know, get married like so many other young stupid (sorry) people in military relationships do considering we had ony actually spent such little time TOGETHER.

But we kept in touch, and a few months ago the Navy retracted his orders and made him put in a new request. He now has to report to NAS Lemoore in Central California in September, and before he gets there he has to come to San Diego for the month of August for a school. He'll be here in two weeks today, and I'm SO excited. I won't go into detail about how this affected the budding relationship I had with the friendboy recently, but I feel in my heart like this is the right thing. I'm not saying we're getting back together, but we want to try to make things work and at least give it a shot, since we invested so much time into each other for so long. So right now I'm just praying a lot that this all works out the way God has intended it to, and I really feel in my heart and in my gut that we need to try this one last time.

Sorry for the novel. I have a tendency to do that sometimes :) anyway, that was my 5 on Friday. Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend!

Rich people are out of their minds.

Hey fools. Sorry for the absense yesterday. Let me explain. We all know I work at a very nice resort, which just happens to be less than a mile from the Del Mar Racetrack. Yesterday was Opening Day at the track and my work has a huge afterparty every year (we're talking $100/ticket, $3500 cabana rentals, etc.). So we were all going to be working major overtime sooooooo everyone brought all this food (not healthy food either) and set it next to my desk on an empty desk, and I munched. All. Damn. Day. Then I had to pee. I walked out to go to the bathroom and immediately felt self-conscious like I never have in my life. It was like I was in high school and actually hated my body and the way I looked (which I didn't when I was in high school). I just felt out of place with all the rich surgeried women walking around in their tight dresses and big hats. And all I was doing was going to the bathroom. I actually went downstairs to avoid being in the bathroom with any of them. WTF IS WITH ME LATELY?! I'm 20 pounds and a size down from where I was 6 months ago. But I feel worse than I did about myself. I also feel a zit coming in on my chin and am convinced it's because I've been a slobby pig lately. it's probably because I'm PMSing, and that's probably why I also feel bloated, but either way, I do not like how I feel right now and it's really bumming me out. I went for a run on Monday when I got home from work and I was so sluggish. Something needs to change. I know what it is: I need to just MAKE MYSELF work out and watch what I'm eating again. I just feel hopeless. I hope you all don't hate me if I decide to go onto a strict under 1300-calories per day diet, because I'm thinking that drastically at this point.

Anyway. I got called out to the will-call table around 5, and boyyyyyyy did I have a major come-to-jesus moment about drinking in public!!! First of all, why are rich people so weird?? The things they do and the clothes they wear....there are no words. The weirdest outfit I saw was what I'm pretty sure was a one-piece bathing suit with a flapper-esque fringe along the thighs, and some beading around the neck. And guess where she was?! In the press/media lounge!!! What?!?! And then, if people are really as rich as they try to act and let on, I really don't think they'd be trying so hard to get into a party for free instead of just paying the hundred bucks. I'm onto you, bitches. Supposedly I met the Vice President of MGM. Not the movie studio. The hotel in vegas. UHYEAHRIGHT. I doubt he would be caught dead at a hotel party in San Diego. Get real.

Oh and here was my outfit (it's obviously tradition to wear a big floppy hat on opening day, and as a staff member I had to wear all black):

Among other things, I really need a tan.

Sorry for my ramblings. The whole thing was an interesting experience, and I'm glad it only happens once a year!!!

Enough of that shit. Moving on to one of my favorite linkups with Holly and Jake! It's Finish-the-Sentence Time, y'all!!!!

If I had one extra hour in the day...I'd use it to sleep. Because I'm lame/lazy/fat/slightly lethargic.

I wish my name...was...what? I like my name. I guess if I could change it in any way it would be my last name, just to be something more original. Edwards is pretty standard.
I think anything chevron is...generally awesome. Unless it's on every single thing you own/every crevace of your living quarters.

My last nightmare...Was about dinosaurs. Yes, dinosaurs. I don't think about them on a regular basis, so I have no idea where the hell it came from. But they were taking over the world and turning all us humans into them. I have no idea.

Sometimes...I like to think about nothing, you know, like boys do. Most of the time us girls can't wrap our over-active brains around how men are able to sit and literally think about nothing for a period of time, but I actually enjoy it every once in a while. It usually only lasts about 3 minutes and consists of me driving and all of a sudden realizing I'm almost home and don't remember the last 5 miles, which sounds dangerous but it's all good!

My last meal on earth would be...Ok. I've thought about this a lot. It would be a Bluez 57 Burger from Huey's in Memphis, with an order of their cheese fries with a big side of ranch to dip them in. And of course a giant sweet tea with unending refills. And then I'd follow it up with a piece of flourless chocolate cake. Or the whole cake. Can you tell I'm trying to die of a heart attack? Just kidding. I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

I would much rather be_____ than____. A size 8 than a size 12. I probably still wouldn't be happy with myself, but oh well. It's a nice thought!

Mayonnaise...I'll be honest. I like mayo. I'm not obsessed with it and I sub greek yogurt for it a lot, but I think it has a nice flavor when used sparingly! On a burger and such. I also like to put a dallop in my guacamole...trust me people, ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I make awesome guacamole.

10 years ago, I didn't think...That boys were cute or clean. I definitely thought boys had cooties up until I was a freshman in high school pretty much. I still think they're gross (no offense Jake) and weird, but I appreciate them more now than I did then :)

Selfishly...I wish I made more money than I do. I know I need to work for that. But I just want it to happen now, dammit!

My favorite show on TV right now...Always Real Housewives, but right now it's Real Housewives of Orange County. I love those crazy bitches. Except Gretchen. She sucks. And she needs to learn how to pronounce words like "something" (which she has said "sun-theeeen" for the last however many years she's been on the show and "fury" which she recently pronounced "furry." Dumbass.

And, George Zimmerman...Ugh. Really, Holly and Jake???? I halfway spoke my peace about this in my last post but I don't mind discussing my thoughts again haha. I don't think he was a racist. I don't think he should have gotten out of his car. I do think he had the right to defend his life with his legally-owned firearm when a physically fit young adult (quit calling Martin a kid. He was not a child) was bashing his head into the concrete. There ya have it.

Well I guess that's all I got! Have a great Thursday, y'all! Tomorrow's Friday!!

My new bedroom, and some thoughts.

Happy Monday everyone.....

Oh who am I kidding. Y'all know how I feel about Mondays.
So this weekend was a little insane. Friday was fun. I cooked parmesan-crusted tilapia over creamy pesto pasta for my friends and drnak a whole box of wine while they confided about their boy issues. So happy I don't have those at the moment! Then Saturday morning I got up early and went through all my clothes to sort out ones that need to be donated and ones that I need to try to sell at the local resale shop. I still have too many clothes. Oh well! Sorry I'm not sorry :) Then my mom and I moved all of my furniture outside and I went to Home Depot to get the stain and sandpaper and top coat. I also decided to see if they had any burlap, and I hit the freaking jackpot! Did you know you can buy an 80 inch by 80 inch square of burlap from there for 5 bucks!?!?! You can. And considering I saw a roll of burlap at Michael's for more than that, I'd say that's a steal. Only downside is it smells like, well, burlap. So anyway. I came home, started sanding and sanding, and could NOT get through whatever coating Ikea put on that damn furniture. No stain, so why teh need to put some Fort Knox-style coating on top of it, Swedes!? I was pissed. Needless to say, the stain wouldn't stick. So back to Home Depot I'll go this week to return it and I will be dealing with my plain oak furniture probably until I get married and get new shit. Oh well. The alternative would have been waiting until Sunday to work on it because I could have borrowed a friends electric sander, but the whole project would have been pushed back and I couldn't get it done over the weekend so it just wasn't in the card. But anyway. Here's my new room, nonetheless!





I also did soem crafting yesterday using my surplus of burlap I now have. I made a wreath, decorated some jars to hold makeup brushes and hair stuff in my bathroom (which I'll have pictures of eventually), and I also took out the silk flowers that came with that vase on my shoe rack when I bought it liiiiiike 8 years ago and made my own yellow sunflowery bouquet of silk flowers. I feel like it goes better with the rest of the room than the orange and pink flowers.




Saturday was also my little sis's birthday!! She turned 21 and it broke my heart I couldn't be there to celebrate with her :( AOT, little shit!!!



Also, since this is my blog, I'm going to discuss the other big thing that happened this weekend: Zimmerman was acquitted. Let me preface this by saying I don't agree that he got off punishment-free. At the same time, I also don't think that he's a racist, I acknowledge the fact that he's multi-racial himself, I have read as much of this case as I can possible stand to, and I also don't think he should have been charged with murder. With all that said....

If I see one more post on my social media newsfeeds crying racism and discussing how effed up our country is, I am going to lose it. Bad. I already have a few times mildly. But it's getting to a level that's just absurd. I just wish people would educate themselves in a way other than just reading what someone famous for whatever reason who might have the same skin color as them is saying on their twitter or facebook page. For instance, read the case. Or, familiarize yourself with the law and the way a trial-by-jury works. Just a couple ideas. The thing that angered me the most in all this was seeing something thrown around on facebook comparing Zimmerman's trial to that of Marissa Alexander. Marissa Alexander was in an abusive marriage and divorced her husband's sorry ass and also filed a restraining order against him. All good with me. Then she went over to his house to supposedly get some of her belongings during a time she supposedly thought he wouldn't be home. He was home, and an argument ensued. It didn't turn violent, but supposedly she was worried it would and so she left the house, went to her car, got her gun (which she legally owned) and walked back into his house and fired a few "warning shots." Nobody got hurt. But she tried to use the Stand Your Ground law to get out of her aggravated-assault-with-a-deadly-weapon charge. I'm no legal expert, but I'll gladly explain why this didn't work out in her favor: She wasn't defending herself (at least from a legal standpoint). She wasn't under any physical attack and if she had time to walk out to her car and walk back inside that implies to any logical person that he wasnt chasing after her trying to physically attack her. Of course, if he had beaten her in the past he deserved to get his balls chopped off and then get shot in the head a few times a long time ago, but unfortunately the law is the law and she broke it. Should she have gotten 20 years in jail for it? Not in my opinion. However, to compare her case to George Zimmerman's is completely stupid. Yes, she was black, he was white-ish. But did you know her prosecutor was the same as Zimmerman's????? Betcha didn't. Bottom line: The outcomes of the two cases had nothing to do with their respective races.

I'm not saying racism doesn't exist. I'm not saying George Zimmerman should have gone against what the emergency dispatcher told him and gotten out of his car to confront Trayvon Martin. I am saying, however, that to use this case as a platform to try to prove that America's justice system is racist is not only ignorant, it's also extremely frustrating and hurtful to those of us that take pride in having one of, if not the most, fair judicial systems in the world.

I could go on and on about this, but I won't. If you've read through this all, congrats!!!! Email me with your thoughts :) I love discussing these things.

With that, I'm....


I hope y'all had a fabulous weekend--can't wait to go read about them all! Let this be a great week.

Looking up

Today I'm linking up for Five on Friday, trying to be more optimistic than yesterday's post :)


First, I got a couple new things from Fifth and Mae

Ignore my slept-in-too-late-to-wash-hair bun.<
I'm in love with both the earrings and the infinity bracelet. Being half-southern and all, I LOVE bows. I don't wear them a lot anymore, but these were just too cute. They're super girly and delicate and not too cutesy for an adult haha.

Second, I'm officially going to see Luke Bryan on August 11th!!!



YUMMYYYYYY.

To say I'm stoked is an understatement. I'm going with Brittany, and someone else I won't tell you who just yet, and then I have some other girlfriends going as well. It's. Gonna. Be. AWESOME. And, well....


Third, I know I already told you all yesterday how I'm refinishing my furniture this weekend and switching rooms, but I'm really excited. I'm also excited that I FINALLY found curtains I like, for a price I can afford, at IKEA!!! I don't know if you realized this but I've been searching for curtains since ummmm Christmas. Yeah. I got my bedding for Christmas and needed new curtains and I could never commit. Third world problems, right?? I was also a little sticker shocked whenever I would find some I liked, and being the cheapass I am it resulted in me having clashing curtains in my room for the last 6 months. I found these Vivan curtains for $9.99/pair--DIRT CHEAP. They're simple and light and airy and just what I wanted.

I also found a black towel set for my bathroom, dirt cheap. The bathroom has this weird yellow and white textured damask wallpaper from the 70s that I'm determined to make look nice. I actually stumbled upon it in hot pink on pinterest one day, so I know it can look modern. Imagine this but yellow:

So black accents should look nice, right??? IDK. It may be hopeless.

Fourth, I've been stressing over money lately big time. But, I've made a budget. I've cut things out and managed to get my student loans decreased, I've transferred a credit card balance, and I'm determined to make things work until I get promoted to a higher paying position, which I know I will soon. I have to be optimistic.

And fifth..........IT'S FRIDAY! HOLLAAAA!!!



And that's all I have to say about that.

Also, thank you to the people who left those sweet comments yesterday on my post. I know we all struggle with similar things, just in our owns ways, but it's nice to be reminded your're not alone sometimes!! Love you all. Have a fabulous weekend!