Thursday, July 11, 2013

The one I didn't want to write.

Hmmm where do I even begin this post??? I'm having to write this all in HTML because of something weird with blogger on my computer at work all of a sudden. Cool. Anyway. I guess I'll start by recapping the 4th of July.

It took way too long to get everyone together and headed for the beach, then we sat in traffic for what felt like forever, but we finally got out spot on the beach around 1:30. We laid out, the boys cooked, and then we left and went back to the friendboy's apartment. We swam and I drank way too much, and we didn't see any fireworks. It was less than ideal, but oh well. In the days that have followed, the friendboy and I have put things on hold. I'm not all tore up about it and I won't go into details as to why, I'm just kinda lonely.

I guess it's a good thing I have such good girlfriends here. I'm so happy Brittany (the platinum blonde with the curly hair) is living here now. When I went to Northeastern she was a KD that I looked up to SO MUCH. Seriously I wanted to be just like her. She's wanted to move out here for a while but moved to NYC after graduation because of her parents. She still wanted to move here after two years there, so she just did it. Brave, huh!? Anyway. We also have another sister from Northeastern that lives here that I haven't maintained a lot of contact with but she's closer with Brittany than I was and she's still awesome and I love her, Kristin. So on Sunday we all went wine tasting with my best friend Cassie.

And my aunt Tracey bought me this wine holder (which I'll also use for whiskey and tequila...):

So anyway. Now to the stuff nobody probably wants to hear about so you might as well stop reading. I've been doing a lot of thinking this week, and a lot of slacking off in the working out department, but I think I had a little wee bit of a breakthrough this morning, hence this post.

I really got to thinking about my 'weight loss' I've been neglecting and why that is. The truth is, I really don't have *that* much more to lose. I already made it to 20 pounds lost and that's awesome. I'm also a better runner than I was, well, ever. Realistically, if I could just have some self control and discipline and keep this up, I could lose the last 20 pounds I really need to to get to my ideal weight/size/health level before the summer is even over. So what the hell is the problem??? It's like I'm complacent. But I'm really not happy with myself. In all honesty, I was more able to look in the mirror naked before I started losing weight and be ok with what I saw than I am now. Even though I'm very obviously smaller than I was a few months ago. My skin is also healthier. My hair is too. And I'm not so freaking exhausted anymore because I don't work insane, unreasonable hours. I love my job. But yet there's still something that's hurting me and I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just PMSing and in a week I'll look back at this and think I was crazy. Who knows.

Needless to say I'm in a funk. Anyone got any ideas on how to get out of it???

True story:

In other, happier news, this weekend will be very DIY. My mom and I are swapping rooms. There's a lot of reasons why. But part of the room move entails me going through all my shit and donating it all. Or selling it. I have so many clothes I never wear. So wish me luck on that! And then I'm also going to be re-finshing my furniture. It's all about 8-year-old solid wood, unfinished furniture from Ikea (a nightstand, 5 drawer-dresser, and an armoire). I found this finish that I LOVE, by Minwax called Weathered Oak:

Pretty, right? I think it'll go great with my bedding, which is this:

I'm going to try to be a real good blogger and document everything with pictures. Wish me luck!!

If you've read all this, congratulate yourself. I wouldn't have.

Have a good day, everyone!


  1. I've been in a very long funk, and I have much more weight to lose than you! Today I started using myfitnesspal and tracking food publicly. Personally I'm hoping having my food diary open will better hold me accountable and motivate me to eat healthier. We will see if that works! I felt like I needed to make a change to push myself back into being so dedicated again.

    I don't know what will be best to help you, but be proud of all your accomplishments thus far! We are all here to support you the rest of the way!

  2. Hey girl, so sorry that you're in a funk :( Sounds like you have had a lot thrown your way in the past week or so. I'm sure it's not what you wanna hear, but I do find exercise helps. Actually getting off my butt to do it though.. that's the hard part. lol

    I love your bedding- where is it from? I've been looking for a set. Good luck on your cleaning/move- sometimes that in itself can be pretty therapeutic.


  3. That bedding is so cute! I have been in many weight loss funks over the years. Something that helps me is doing something to motivate myself - like a reward when you get to your goal weight, an event I want to look good for, etc. Do you have something in mind to splurge on when you reach your goal? As far as working out, if I don't feel like I can drag myself to the gym, new music does the trick. I think you look great, and your progress already is awesome!