No changes. At all.

Hey fools!!

No news on the job front.  At all. Which is highly aggravating but whatever.

Before I delve into the latest weigh-in Wednesday post ever, let menshow you my weekend:

Friday night the new friendboy (not discussing further for fear of jinxing) and I cooked dinner. I found premade polenta at Walmart and was dying to do something with it, so we made bacon cheddar polenta with cajun shrimp (basically cheesy shrimp and grits). It was SCRUMPTIOUS.

And then on Sunday, I went to a meeting with the Kappa Deltas (I'm going to be an adviser for the SDSU chapter!!!) and it was in the morning, so I brought a stuffed french toast casserole...

Yep. It was as delicious as it sounds.

I guess it goes without saying, though, that I've been eating like CRAP. I've been stuffing my face and eating when I get stressed. I have done 30 Day Shred the last few days, and I've actually found myself wanting to get a gym membership again....partly so I can tan. I'm pale.

I just feel AWFUL lately. Yesterday I stuffed my face at Smashburger for lunch and it tormented me all night and all morning. Try doing 30 Day Shred Level 2 with that mess. Yeah. Not fun.

Luckily I haven't gained any more since last week. I'm still up 2 pounds though, in general.

A while ago I posted about potentially going to Navy OCS if something doesn't give here soon, and I've resolved to prepare myself physically to go over the next several months, if only to get myself in great shape and form healthy eating habits again. Then, if it does come to me deciding to go for it, I'm ready. And if I find a good job without going down that route, at least I've improved myself.

I know, I've said all this before. But I don't ever remember just feeling so down on myself. I made the decision to start losing weight and attempting to get healthy simply because I knew I wasn't as good as I could have been, overall. But I never had reached a point where I could hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. I'm at that point now. It's ironic that I'm almost 20 pounds less and a size smaller than I was when I started this blog, though.

Funny how life works, I guess.

Anyhoo. That's all I got for today. And since it's still Wednesday here in so-cal, I'm linking up for Weigh-In Wednesday.

Peace out playas. 

Gripes and weigh-in Wednesday, with a little help from my favorite housewives.

Hey fools! Again, I apologize for being such a terrible blogger. Things are still crazy.

A little update on my Grammy: She's been in a ton of pain recovering from her surgery, and we think maybe she underestimated how major of a surgery it was because her spirits seem to be worse than they've ever been. She's been rude to the nurses and doctors. My grandma has NEVER been that mean old lady who treats the medical professionals like garbage. She used to be a nurse! She's always been the nurses' favorite person. But after the surgery since she's been in the hospital she's been mean and aggravated. Then yesterday I went to visit her and when I walked into her room she had fallen asleep mid-bite eating breakfast. I woke her up and we chatted for a second, and I thought she seemed a little better. Really she just wasn't all drugged up on morphine so she just was a little bit more coherent. But then when I went to leave and said I was going to work, she asked where I was going to work at. I said "the hotel..." And she said "where are you working now?" And I said again, "the hotel in Del Mar." Then she asked how long I've been working there, and I said since last April. Then she said "well that's nice that I'm just now finding out." We've had probably 100 conversations about my job since I started there almost a year ago. I have no idea why she all of a sudden lost that memory, but it scared me. I just am praying she didn't have another mild stroke. And get this: The doctors are talking about discharging her!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

Actually,

I try REALLY hard to not be that person, that family member who thinks they know more than the doctors and nurses. But that is bull shit. First of all, they need to make sure she didn't have another stroke. Second of all, the nursing home she's in is full of idiots who couldn't take care of her properly before, when she was a pretty self-sufficient person other than having no use of her right leg and arm. How do you think they're going to take care of her now that shes' recovering from having her thyroid removed???

Anyway. That's my primary concern at the moment.

As far as the job goes, I'm still waiting to find out a decision on the internal and external positions I applied for. Fingers crossed.

On to weigh-in Wednesday....

I'm up 2 pounds from last week. Not a surprised since I ran today for the first time since last week also. And considering the stress I've been feeling.

Luckily today I got a mile and a half, my goal, without stopping. But it was hard. I had two breathing cramps and my right shoulder started acting up, and my teeth started hurting toward the end. I've done some research and the pain in my teeth and mouth when I run, which I can only describe as extreme pressure, must be a byproduct of my sinus issues and deviated septum. Again, another reason to get that taken care of. And another reason to keep praying I can get a better job ASAP. As far as the shoulder pain, ever since I can remember, like even back to middle school, whenever I work out I get this awful sharp pain in my trap muscle on my right arm/side of my neck. I don't know why it's only on that side and no matter how much I try to loosen up that muscle beforehand it continues to make a cracking sound every time I try to work it out. It's like a really bad kink or something. It's extremely annoying. 

If you've gotten through this giant bitchfest, I truly commend you. I would have stopped reading a long time ago. 

Bottom line: I need to be positive right now. Being a negative nancy isn't going to change anything. I just wish it were that easy. 

Pretty much.

On a different note....have y'all been watching the Biggest Loser??? I am SO HAPPY Tanya went home! She is LAZY. It's about damn time she faced a red line on her own, not on a team. Jesus. I liked Marie though. I've said this before and I'll say it again, though, as sweet as Rachel is, she's 23 years old and was a state-champion-level athlete only 5 years ago. OF COURSE she's lost the most weight the quickest!! I don't think that's fair. And maybe I'm a little jealous she's a size 6 now. But seriously. 

Who do I want to win? Chelsea. I. Love. Chelsea. And I want that outfit Tim put her in with the green skirt and denim jacket and cowgirl boots. Please and thanks. 

And David without the beard was amazing.

Anyway. I'm gonna end this post on a funny note. Because this is pretty much how I feel about life right now:

Bahahahahaha. 

Later fools!

It was only a matter of time.

Happy Hump Day, fools!

Good news: My Grammy had an uncomplicated surgery. They're keeping her in ICU for a couple of days just to monitor her (because she had a major surgery, she was sick when they did the surgery, and she's old--why that freaks my mom out, I don't know). But she should be good to go soon :) Thank you for the prayers and well thoughts.

Now for a Weigh-in Wednesday post....

I'm back to the weight I was before the holidays. I went up a few pounds and was horrified, so thank God. But I haven't been good about working out or running at all. Part of it is because I absolutely HATE how crowded the trail I run has gotten since the new year. I mean really...I had to snap a pic on Monday:

That's just one group of people. But they have taken over. The entire trail looks like that right now. And I went early on Monday!

Yesterday I didn't run because I needed to take the morning to prepare for my interview at work, but this morning I went. I haven't had a horrible workout in a long time. Like, since I still had my gym membership and would run on the treadmill (which I hate). Normally, when I run outside, and on this trail, it takes about a half a lap around the lake (about .4 miles) to get in my groove, and then I'm good to go. This morning was different. Let me list the things that irritated me to the point I stopped after 1 lap and called it a day:

1) I got a rock in my shoe before I even started
2) I thought maybe running in the direction opposite of the one most people go would alleviate having to dodge people, because I would just stay to the very far right of the trail. WRONG. There were STILL WALKERS WHO WERE JUST MEANDERING ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE.
3) Piggy-backing off #2, the hills when I run in the direction I always do are steep and quick, then you gradually go back downhill. Well, I didn't think it would be any big deal to go the other way. Well it was. The gradual and long inclines killed me.
4) Pandora kept playing slow songs and I kept having to skip it.
5) It was DRY and breathing actually hurt.
6) It was hot. In fact it was about 10 degrees hotter than it's been, at least. I didn't think it would make a difference but I guess it makes sense since I've become a better runner in the last couple months, during which it has been a wee bit chilly by San Diego standards.
7) My boobs must be shrinking (again) because I wore my favorite Victoria's Secret bra which always does a great job holding them in, and today they were bouncing all over the place and I kept having to re-adjust so they didn't fly out and flash somebody.

Today just wasn't my day. I know it was just a bad day. But I really wish I had handled it different and just kept going, even if it meant just walking. Instead, I stopped after one lap and went straight to my car.

Eff.

I just feel a little defeated today. In all honesty though, I guess it was really only a matter of time before I had another bad run, since it's been so long.




I still have multiple interviews to get through in the next couple of days (for the internal job and the other one), so I really felt like exercising would help clear my mind. I've been feeling like I'm getting the flu or something because I've been extremely tired, achy, and I keep getting the chills. So maybe that had something to do with my funk today.

Anyhoo. Hopefully things will be changing rapidly in the next few weeks, and I can adjust to those changes without sacrificing my health. Luckily, I have been eating pretty well. Lots of Greek Yogurt, ground turkey, fish, chicken, etc. Also, Special K. I love that cereal.

In other news, I finally cleaned and organized by vanity area this weekend:

Impressive, right?

Ha.

OK, I hope y'all are having a great week. One of my friends posted on facebook this morning "Get the f*ck up and make Hump Day your bitch!" I LOLed.

Peace out, playas.

Prayers, please.

Hey fools. Sorry for my absense lately. Things have gotten a little cray cray.

The good stuff is: a position I have been wanting since I got to my current company (and have basicslly been groomed to take tover the last several months) has opened up. I am being looked at for it and I am hoping and praying I get an offer.

Also, another opportunity has come up at a different company so I'm also just praying that I can make  the best of both of these opportunities and that in the next few weeks I will be slightly less-broke and much more challenged at work.

The not-so-good news is that tomorrow my Grammy has a surgery to remove a growth on her thyroid. They originally thought it was on her sternum because she was havimg breathing problems, but the MRI showed that its actually on her thyroid. I'm just hoping the surgery doesn't 1) turn into a removal of her thyroid and/or 2) doesn't reveal that she has cancer.  My grammy had a stroke at the end of 2008 and has been in a nursing-type facility ever since, as she is permanently in a wheelchair now and has no mobility in her left arm and leg. I absolutely despise the joint, but my grammy refuses to leave because she has so many friemds there, if that gives you any insight into who she is. She is so strong and can find a reason to smile no matter what, and I need her to stick around for a while longer.

Please send up a quick prayer for my Grammy. You could throw me in there too that one of these jobs works out, but she's currently my top priority :)

Hpe yall are having a great week and I will be back to rgular posting once things calm down a bit.

Btw sorry for the typos, I am on my tablet and this droid keyboard sucks balls.

I'm a ginger.

Happy 2014 everybody! I can't believe it's here already. I'll turn 24 this year. WHAT!? I gotta get my shit together.

I wish I had some awesome pictures to share with you of my NYE celebration butttttttttttt we just had way too much fun and forgot to take any pictures. Oopsies. I can tell you it was a blast, though. Cassandra and I went to Double Deuce, one of my favorite places downtown, and had a great time.

On New Year's Day, my mom and I went to visit my aunt and uncle at their campsite on the beach:

Gorgeous.

In other news, my hair started turning a bluish green color in certain spots.Why, I do not know. Perhaps my hair just took the dye we used 4 weeks ago differently in those spots? There's not really anything I can think of as to why it happened in JUST those spots. But whatever. I went to a beauty supply store and the sweet ladies told me to get a semi-permanent light reddish-brown color to counteract the blue-green, and then when it fades out in about 3-4 weeks, I'll do a permanent color over it. It's too soon to use a permanent color right now. I'm thinking I MIGHT try to save up some doll-hairs and go to an actual hair-dresser to make sure those patches go away completely. Right now it just looks like I have a few darker brown patches compared to the rest of my hair. But I'm actually loving the reddish tint:

Filter used to bring out the color in the picture. 

What do you think? And if any of you have a background in hair-dressing, any clue as to the blue-green patches that just showed up? I've been using the Aveda Black Malva Conditioner every 3 washes or so, so that's a possibility I guess.

Anyhoo. I didn't go for a run on NYE morning, or any other day until today. My legs felt like jello. It was a hard run. It also could have seemed more difficult because of ALL THE FREAKING PEOPLE ON THE TRAIL!!!! I wanted to scream at someone. I mean seriously, how hard is it to stay to the right, just like when you're driving? And even if you didn't know that was just plain common courtesy, who taught these people is was polite for an entire group of 4-5 people to take up and entire trail that's used by hundreds of people for exercise!?!??

OK sorry, rant over.

Until tomorrow, probably.

I hope y'all had a wonderful New Year celebration last week, and I'll see y'all on Weigh In Wednesday!

Bye byeeeee 2013!!! Helloooooooooooo 2014!

Hey fools.

I decided to do a little reflective post (like anyone's going to read it anyway) on the last year. I started this blog at the very beginning of it, and it's crazy to me when I go back and look at old posts. I've definitely changed a lot, I think mostly in good ways.

This is the first full year I've been single the entire time since the beginning of college. That's insane to me. Yes, I've dated, multiple guys this year. But none of them turned into a relationship. The ex and I tried again, and as of right now it's not looking like we are ever going to work out. So there's that. But I'm pretty confident that I'm going to be ok :)

I won't lie. I want to be married and start having kids. Soon. I'm 23 years old, I don't think that means I'm a crazy person. I also want to get my career moving forward. And I feel like it has completely come to a standstill. So the one big thing I'm going to focus on in 2014 (specifically in the first half of the year) is finding another position, maybe it'll be in the Hospitality industry, maybe it won't be, that move my career forward towards ultimately being some sales or marketing executive. That's the ultimate direction I want to go. And if I can't make that happen by June, I'm going to commit to getting into OCS with the Navy. That's all there is to it.

Anyhoo. This year WAS a lot of fun. I went wine tasting a lot...





















And went to a lot of country concerts...











And I'm totally OK with having spent a lot of time doing those things :) I've realized who my real good friends here in San Diego are, and I'm so thankful to have such an amazing group of girlfriends in my life. I know a lot of girls don't have that. I'm also thankful for my friends back in Memphis that I still keep in touch with. Hopefully that's something else I'll be able to accomplish this year: Going back to Memphis! I have a sorority sister AND a best friend from Memphis getting married in April and May (respectively) so if I can make ends meet enough to afford a trip back there, I'm going to have to choose which one to go to.

Probably the biggest change that's happened this year has been in my health and fitness. As far as eating goes, I've learned how to cook healthy. I've also realized I struggle with self-control (in most areas of my life) and I think I may have finally had the come-to-Jesus-moment I needed on my 2.5 mile run last week that food just isn't as important to me as being strong and healthy. So from here on out, I'm going to really try to view food more as a fuel than anything else, and eat things that will make things like running, swimming, and other exercises continue to get easier and easier.

Of course I'd also love to do a 5k, and really get a handle on swimming (which, btw, Cassandra came and started working with me on on Saturday). One other goal I want to fulfill is starting school to get an MBA. Yes, I'm still doing that. Applications aren't due for a while and they're expensive, so I'm taking them one at a time.

Anyway. 2013 has been a good year. A year of self-realization, that's for certain. 2012 was a year of extreme ups and extreme downs, and 2013 has been, in general, pretty dang good. Of course I struggle every day with money, but I'm hopeful that this year, like I said, will be the year I get on my feet. I've been out of college for a year and a half. It's time.

Happy end-of-2013, everyone! And here's hoping 2014 is a great one for all of us :)

Well this could be an interesting turn of events!

Happy friday everyone!  I hope yall had a wonderful Christmas! We went to church on christmas eve, then to dinner with some old friends. On Christmas morning,  mom and I opened presents together, and I must say.....my parents got me some grest stuff! I know the gifts are totally not the point of Christmas,  but I have to show off a little bit....


So momma got me a monogrammed Marley Lilly clutch, which I'm OBSESSED WITH. And a pink rhinestoned flask and matching corkscrew :) She also got me the original Naked pallett. I honestly like the first one way more than Naked 2, and Naked 3 is pretty but I still wanted the original. I LOVE IT. She also got me that SpiBelt I asked for, which takes a wee bit of getting used to, but it's awesome. And yes, my mom also got me a Redneck Girl Wine Glass. I posted a more detailed picture of the paintings on it to my instragram. It's hilarious, and I can't wait to drink out of it. Ummm and it's kind of hidden but the best present she got me was the Garth Brooks "Blame It All On My Roots" box set!!!!! YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! It's got a Greatest Hit CD (2 discs), and 2 CDs of Rock and Classic Country songs that influenced him. And a DVD of his Wynn Show. And a book. I. Freaking. Love. It.

And you can also see my dad and stepmom got me a Samsung Galaxy Tab :) I asked for the most basic kindle, since it's so cheap, but they decided to surprise me with a tablet. It's sooooo nice (although it's weird going back to a Droid system when I had one for so long and then have been an iPhone user for the last year and a half). The first thing I bought on it is...



Long Survivor, by Marcus Luttrell. I can't stop reading it. I love books like this, and I wanted to read the book before I see the movie (I WILL come out from under my rock and see that movie), so I need to read fast anyway :)

Anyhoo, after we opened presents and had breakfast, we went to visit my grandma at her nursimg home. I soooooo wish my mom and I could pick her up and take her places, like to my aimt amd uncles house where we went for dinner,  but we simply cannot do it. Her wheelchair is huge and clunky and complicated to work with. Then she also has to be picked up and placed on the toilet when she needs to go, and she is not a petite old lady. Also, houses in San Diego are hardly ever handicap accessible unless you make those changes yourself. Everthing is built into or on top of a hill so theres usually stairs required to go inside. The point is, we cant figure out how to take her anywhere. So we sat and nrought her gifts and visited for a while. She has been having breathing problems and they found some mass on her sternum, so theyre going to have to do an MRI to figure out what it is. So please say a little prayer for my grammy that it isnt anything serious.


I guess I should also update on my weight. I weighed myself after a run yesterday which is always a bad idea, and didn't like what I saw. I'm just going to pretend I didn't see it anyway. But I went for a 1.6 mile run yesterday and this morning decided to push another half-loop around the lake for 2 miles. I wound up getting to that 2 mile spot, and telling myself "just keep going for a full lap, dummy." So I kept going. It was HARD. But I made it. So my total distance was 2.4 technically, but let's just call it 2 and a half miles :) This is my longest run, AND I didn't stop except for 1 time when I was messing with my phone (because pandora SUCKS) and I missed the SpiBelt and dropped my phone onto the trail. So I stopped, picked it up, and kept going.

Imagine my disappointment when I clicked on my Nike Running App to see this:


That bitch just stopped recording my run at 1.9 miles. Thanks a lot! Oh well. I know I did it, and that's all that matters I guess.



Sooooooo on the whole topic of pushing yourself, I kind of had a breakthrough today. It stems from a conversation I had with my aunt and uncle at Christmas. See, my uncle was in the navy for 31 years. My aunt was enlisted for like 4 years and that's how they met. I have a ton of family who have also done careers or are doing careers in various military branches. I have definitely thought about the possibility of going to OCS (Officer Candidate School) and doing 4 or 6 years in the Navy. But we all know I have a long way to go physically if that were to ever happen. Anyway, I was talking to them about my current money issues and job frustrations, and my uncle said "why don't you join the Navy?" Like it was no big deal. At first I literally laughed at him. Then he explained how there's a whoel business side to the Navy, which is totally true. And the money is not only good, it's extremely steady and secure. I could also get to see some cool parts of the world. I'm not tied down to anything. I could TOTALLY DO IT. I can already DO the physical requirements (with the exception of swimming, which my friend is going to start teaching me tomorrow), just not in the time frames they require. So I'm seriously considering IF in the next 6 months I STILL haven't found anything better that will really boost my career in the direction I want it to go, I may just start full-on preparing to apply to Navy OCS. I'm sure y'all think I'm crazy, but whatever. I know I can do it. I ran 2.5 miles today without stopping and less than a month ago I couldn't go 2 miles without stopping. And as far as the mean instructors go, I am extremely gifted at blocking things out. Whether it's people or noise, I can block it out. I can literally just pretend I'm listening to someone and not actually be hearing them at all. So if I know I can do whatever it is they're telling me to do, it will not matter if they're screaming at me or calling me a fat lazy SOB or whatever. I know this about myself.

So anyhoo. sorry for the novel. I hope y'all had a great Christmas, and if anyone reads this...please tell me what you think of my crazy idea to possible join the military.