Friday, January 25, 2013

First BAD workout

I knew this was bound to happen eventually. Made it through 3 weeks of C25K without ever actually having to slow down or take a break (even though a few times I thought I needed to), and on week 3 day 3, I couldn't get through it. I felt like everything was sucking. Granted, my shins have been hurting all day, perhaps from running on solid ground yesterday for the first time (maybe I should have taken a day off?). But anyway. Here was my list of excuses to quit throughout the 30 minutes on the treadmill:

my shins hurt.

pandora was giving me shitty songs and i kept having to skip them.

my tshirt was a POS. seriously never wearing it again. this one's actually legit. it kept choking me. and it felt too tight and too heavy.

someone around me was wearing too much perfume and i couldn't breathe.

the gym needed to turn the air up.

some tiny man next to me was running at 190391028392 miles per hour and intimidating me.

I'm sure more ridiculous thoughts crossed my mind but that's all I can think of at the moment. So during the final 3 minutes of jogging, I dropped down to a walk, put my hands on the handlebar (as I could hear Jillian Michaels screaming "put your hands on the treadmill and I'll kill you!" or something like that) and walked like a defeated little kid for about 30 seconds before Dierks Bentley's Free and Easy came on Pandora. Finally a good song! I thought to myself, "self, quit being a pansy and RUN." And I cranked it up to the fastest level I've been able to do so far (4.7) and finished the interval of jogging. So I guess I should be proud of myself for powering through...I just wish I could have powered through without having to drop down to a walk for that portion.

Tomorrow I'm taking a break. It's my best friend's birthday celebration (the adult one) downtown and I'm going to have fun with her. And I have to work.

But come Sunday, I'm going to wear a loose tank top like I've been wearing, make a playlist I know I'll like without skipping, and freaking run. Without stopping. I still haven't decided if I'm going to repeat a day of week 3, or continue onto week 4. We will see.

OK there's something else on my mind. And this is my blog so I'm going to write about it. One of my best friends of the last 10 years (the one I called THE best friend, as a matter of fact) and I have fallen out recently. It truly hurts me that it happened, and how it happened, but considering the way things have gone down the last few times we've seen each other, I know it's for the best. But that's a lot easier to accept in theory. In all honesty, I really wish she would just go away. We only have one mutual friend anymore anyway, but somehow the entire issue is STILL in my life. I can't seem to escape it. And I don't want to confront it. I'm hoping eventually it really will go away, but until then, it's really freaking hard to deal with. I mean losing a best friend sucks, regardless of how mean they were to you or whatever. And I'm not ignorant to the fact that when I get distracted by something, it affects everythinnnnnng. It affects me at work, it affects whether or not I want to go out and be social (hence why I'm sitting on my bed on a Friday night instead of going out with friends, like I was supposed to ), and now its affecting my workout/weight loss efforts.

I know, I know....I need to get the hell over it. And I will. Eventually.

Oh, my scale is also broken.

Just kidding, I'm just still a fat fatty and hate it. Haven't lost any weight this week. Womp womp.

Guess next week I'll be starving myself. Not really. But I'm NOT going to cheat. At all.

Sorry for the monster post. Till next time.

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